For those of you out there who consider Lions fans crazy, I direct you to this Cleveland Brown fan, just minutes before he was executed:"When you see the Browns in the Super Bowl in the next five years, you know I'm up there doing my magic."
While I applaud your loyalty, James Filiaggi, I severely doubt how much "magic" you can work. If you had any magic in the first place you wouldn't have killed your wife and gotten caught doing it. And I may not be a very religious man, but I don't think God is going to let you tinker with the results of an NFL season. He only lets people who aren't convicted murderers do things like that.
But this incident got me thinking. If I was about to be executed, what could I say to support my team? Would I waste my last precious breaths on a sad-sack franchise that has brought me nothing but pain and disappointment? I think if I were about to kick the bucket I would say one of these:
"Restore the Roar. I can't remember the last time anyone actually heard it, but it needs to be restored."
"Abandon ship, abandon ship, womp womp womp womp womp!"
"Watch out, Rodney Peete, a defensive end just blew past Lomas Brown"
"The bar is high. I'm setting the bar high for what I expect from the rest of my life."
"For the last 40 years, the Ford Family has methodically and meticulously contributed to the decline of a once great franchise and a once great city. Their stubborn and ineffective management style has led to the near-bankruptcy of one of the largest auto companies in the world, at the same time they have owned a team that owns one of the longest, most pathetic streaks of futility ever seen by a major sports franchise. In short, the prompt dissolution of this once proud family from the assets of major Detroit businesses would contribute much to its Renaissance. Oh, and Fire Millen!"
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