Christmas Cheer

The National Mall has an exhibit up displaying a Christmas tree for every state, and since not all of my readers are lucky enough to live in our nation's capital, I thought I would be kind and share my favorite trees from the exhibit:

Alabama's tree was in the worst shape of all of them. It was obese, its healthcare system is failing, and I think I heard it say something anti-semitic when I walked by.

Arizona's tree was lacking water and all cultural relevance.

Florida's tree was a palm tree that was too old to be useful to society, and somehow managed to have trouble voting.

Georgia's tree had a great airport. That's about all I can say about it.

Louisiana's tree was flooded.

Massachusetts' tree was pollinating a tree of the same sex. Legally.

Michigan's tree was proudly grown on an assembly line. Unfortunately all the work of the gardeners and botanists was shipped overseas.

New Jersey's tree put out a hit on me. It also stank.

New York's tree thought it was better than the rest of the lot.

Ohio's tree grew buckeyes, which poisoned some small children.

Oklahoma's tree was bought from Indians for some shiny beads.

We couldn't find Rhode Island's tree. No one cared.

Texas had the biggest tree. Unfortunately it blocked the sunlight from every tree around it. It also required a fence to stop some predators from nesting there.

Utah's tree married all the female trees.

Vermont's tree made some damn good maple syrup.

The northern part of Virginia's tree thought the southern part was full of rednecks.

And finally, in other news, 95 percent of Americans have premarital sex. No word on how many enjoy premarital sax, but we can assume it is also a very high number.

Facebookworms

After reading this article on facebook and potential employees (which I highly recommend checking out), I got to thinking about the effect of facebook on not only immediate job prospects, but long-term future goals.
Our generation (and by our, I mean, anyone on this site, which is probably people under 30 and my Dad), has grown up in a different era than our parents. Ronald Reagan didn't have to worry about youtube, Marilyn Monroe didn't have to worry about tmz.com, and John F. Kennedy certainly did not have a facebook profile. People watched the news at night, read the newspaper, and listened to the radio. If they saw a member of the media or a paparazzi, they knew to behave themselves. But in an ironic twist, we are all the paparazzi now. I heard no outrage that someone had sneaked a camera into Michael Richards' comedy bit, or had videotaped George Allen at a campaign stop, or posted embarrassingly drunk pictures of Ben Roethlisberger. Sometime after Princess Di was killed in a car accident (which was apparently caused by a drunk driver) we have gotten used to Big Brother recording every moment in our lives. But it's not really a Big Brother, it's more of a pesky little brother who follows you around everywhere you go.

So where am I going with this entry? There are two main consequences that I see happening. The first is that in the relatively near future, facebook/online photos are going to absolutely ruin at least a few people's political career. Many have joked with me about this happening to me, and while there are probably some bad pictures of me floating around out there, I'm not too concerned. But imagine if Bill Clinton had said he didn't inhale, but one of his old college buddies dredged up a shutterfly image of him doing exactly that? What if we had pictures of George W. molesting some girl at Yale in a drunken stupor? It would definitely hold more sway than just words do.

But after this initial 20 years or so of ruining careers, I actually see this effect diminishing. When the "Millenials" turn 45 in 2030, we won't care as much. We will be used to seeing our athletes, actors, and probably politicians look foolish in pictures and videos, and we will not judge them as harshly. Anyone who is in college or a recent grad most likely has some pictures on the facebook that they have un-tagged because they are god-awfully embarrassing. I can't imagine that we would condemn others for something we all experience.

I'm not saying that we will express any less outrage at someone dropping f-bombs like Kramer did, but there is a point where it will reach a saturation point. We have come a long way from "Fireside Chats" at the White House, but we will go even farther in our quest to know more. I predict we will eventually view our public figures the same way that we view our friends: great people, with flaws we are well aware of and forgive them for.