A topic de jour of many of the national newspapers has been the debate over whether or not the penny is still useful. Newspapers such as the Wall Street Journal, and USA Today have all weighed in favor of the elimination of the penny in response to the news that it now costs more to make a penny than the one cent it is worth. To give my two cents (pardon the pun), I totally agree. Public opinion polls show that American citizens like to see the penny stick around, due to some sentimental value or those cute little penny wars schools hold to raise money for charity. To this I say: wouldn't they raise more money if they had nickel wars? Or better yet, Sacagewea Wars? As someone who has both taken and contributed liberally from the 7-11 Take-a-penny/give-a-penny jar, I have wished the penny's demise since I first discovered the sweet nectar that is the Slurpee.
To me, it cannot come quickly enough, as every copper-coated parasite that I receive from a cashier burns holes in my pocket. Think of how much time is wasted every day by cashiers and waitresses and god knows who else who has to stick their paw in the machine and distribute some unwanted coin that ceases to have any value in modern society. Think of it this way; it takes about 320 pennies to buy one gallon of gas, and 850 pennies to purchase two hours of the Wayans brothers' new film, Little Man. So call your Congressman today and urge them to vote the penny out of existence. We already have Lincoln, Nebraska, Lincoln Logs, the Lincoln memorial, Linkin Park, and the 5 dollar bill. He won't be too offended if we take away his coin. Just don't stomp on his grave wearing nickel-loafers.
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