Top Albums of the Year

Here are my favorite albums of the year. The following caveats apply:

• I'm not rich or immoral enough to procure every single CD released this year (sorry My Morning Jacket, Kings of Leon, Bon Iver, Wolf Parade, etc), so these are just the favorites that I own.
• They are in the order of how much I enjoyed them, so this is VERY subjective.
• If there's an indie music lover in your life, any of the CD's would make wonderful Winter Solstice gifts.
  

1. Mates of State - Re-Arrange Us.
2. Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours.
3. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend.
4. MGMT - Oracular Spectacular.
5. Ra Ra Riot- The Rhumb Line.
6. Los Campesinos- We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed.
7. Passion Pit- Chunk of Change.
8. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive.
9. Flight of the Conchords- Flight of the Conchords
10. Fleet Foxes- Fleet Foxes
11. m83 - Saturdays = Youth
12. Black Kids- Partie Traumatic
13. Noah and the Whale - Peaceful, The World Lays Me Down
14. Kate Nash - Made of Bricks
15. Cold War Kids- Loyalty to Loyalty

An Acorn Saved Is An Acorn Earned

Looks like humans aren't the only one holding onto all their assets during these tough economic times:

LINK

Latin Legal Terms Defined

Because the legal community is somewhat (ahem) pretentious, lawyers like to use Latin terms even when good old King’s English would clearly suffice. It does, however, give otherwise uninteresting phrases a certain air of significance. Imagine if instead of saying “et tu, Brute?” Caesar had sent Brutus a text message saying “u2, br00te?” I don’t think that line would have achieved quite the same prominence throughout history. But with great significance can come great confusion, so here’s a handy guide to translate some Latin phrases that you might have come across in your legal studies that you were unsure of their meaning:

Arguendo- Arguendo is actually a spell from Harry Potter. When spoken by the right wizard it will convince any trial court judge to grant a summary judgment motion (is ineffective on appellate or supreme court judges). Example: So, in conclusion, the Court shall grant my motion. ARGUENDO!!!

De Jure- De is Latin for “of,” and jure is Latin for “jury.” So this phrase means “of the jury.” Example: Which one of those middle-aged Anne Rice-reading women do you think is the hottest de jure?

Dicta- Dicta is actually Latin profanity, meaning “dickish.” Example: That jerk lawyer is acting really dicta today.

Ex Parte- Ex Parte is a seldom-used Latin term referring to an amputated body part. Example: I still feel a little tingling in my amputated ex parte.

Gravamen- Gravamen are baristas (not barristers) who brew a Nicaraguan blend of Java called Grava. Example: Did you remember to tip the Gravaman for that cup?

Habeas corpus- I have no idea what this means, but don’t worry about it. If it’s not important to the Bush Administration, it probably won’t come up in your legal career. Example: I’m not sure what habeas corpus means.

In flagrante delicto- This means getting caught doing something illegal while having sex. Or being caught doing something illegal while on fire. I believe it’s also a John Legend song. Example: The pants-less man burned down that house in flagrante delicto.

Mens rea-“Mens” obviously means men’s and I believe “rea” means penis. Example: You know what they say about coldblooded killers with big hands: they have large mens reas.

Persona non grata- “Grata” means free, so this phrase literally means “person not free.” It’s usually used in reference to prostitution. Example: I slept with a hot girl last night, unfortunately she was persona non grata and my wallet is a little emptier today.

Prima Facie- Lawyers are often said to be two-faced. Well, this phrase refers to their first face. Example: His second face was a lot uglier than his prima facie.

Pro Bono- This term refers to sexually promiscuous gay men and heterosexual women. Example: Did you hear that Clay Aiken announced he is pro bono?

Respondeat Superior- A respondeat superior is the best answerer in any given law class. Example: I wish that respondeat superior would quit raising her hand; she’s really putting me to shame.

Supra- Lawyers don’t know how to spell “super” like a normal person. Example: Supra our earlier conversation, Supraman needs to stop at the supramarket to pick up some eggs for Lois Lane.

Ultra Vires- Ultra vires is actually a sexual disease. Trust me, you don’t want to catch ultra vires. Example: I’m sorry, sir, but you’ve tested positive for the ultra vires. Have you been having unprotected sex with personas non gratas?

The Election Thus Far (taken from the Docket)

Just a month away from the most important American presidential election since 1496 (I think Columbus beat Squanto that year), I thought it would be a good idea to re-examine how we got here. With 24-hour cable news channels and an army of sun-deprived bloggers typing away at their keyboards, it is easy to forget what happened 5 days ago, let alone 5 months ago. So how did the two major parties nominate an African-American Muslim, an octogenarian prison camp survivor and a small-town mayor who went to 5 different colleges and may or may not think dinosaurs existed? OK, McCain’s not quite 80, and Obama’s not really a Muslim, but still….

After Bill Clinton’s competent presidency, people were pretty content with the status quo. Both parties spent the next two elections nominating the most boring white male candidates they could find. In 2000, the Republicans nominated a Yale/Harvard graduate with a southern accent (bor-ing) and a creature who, besides the fact that he was 100 percent pure evil, was nothing special. The Democrats out-boring-ed them with the two most boring candidates every nominated: a carbon conserving robot and a man (Lieberman) who is so uninteresting words cannot begin to describe him. Then in 2004, the Republicans nominated the same guys, and the Democrats nominated a windbag senator with a WASP-ier name than I have, and your typical, garden variety Kentucky Fried populist with a 400 dollar hair cut.

But then something happened that changed the whole equation. The second Bush administration decided to ignore a hurricane-ravaged city, blundered their way to losing two separate wars at the same time, attempted to privatize Social Security (which would be an utter disaster today given the current stock market), and nominated a serious of incompetent neo-cons to important government positions. George Bush Junior managed to kill any faith Americans had in any politicians, and people become so disgruntled they were open to new things.

So that environment led us to where we are today. Boring white male Democrats like Evan Bayh, John Edwards, Tom Vilsack and Mark Warner never had a chance. So we were left with the first woman candidate and the first candidate with a Kenyan father and a Kansan mother (at least the first one since Spiro Agnew). The Republicans responded with the first major candidate to wear secret underwear (yes, Mormons actually do that), the oldest non-incumbent candidate, and the first bass-playing evangelical. The old man then nominated someone from an area as geographically as far as possible from Washington, D.C. without violating the Constitution. Someone from an area so distant that an omnipresent Vladimir Putin looms overhead like a disco ball at a roller rink. She was the perfect vice-presidential candidate in a time in which Americans distrusted politicians: she doesn’t seem like a politician. She seems like that friendly Mom down the street who makes great desserts but thinks we should ban books and charge rape victims for their rape kits.

So, what should we expect for the next month? It has seemed like it’s a race between Obama and Palin, because those are the two most interesting candidates, but it’s actually Obama v. McCain. And as interesting as it is that John McCain is actually older than duct tape and the Golden Gate Bridge, he is a pretty boring white male with a Scarlet R attached to his name when it is all said and done. It’s not a coincidence that the only time this whole year McCain was ahead in the polls was right after Palin’s speech at the Republican National Convention. Since in the end it will be Obama v. McCain, Obama is going to win easily, with at least 310 electoral votes. And after Obama solves every single one of America’s problems over the next 8 years with style and charisma, Americans are going to vote for boring Washington insiders again.

Advice for 1L's (taken from the Docket)

Tips For 1L’s

1. As a grizzled veteran of the 1L year/ordeal/civil war, I’d like to offer some advice to the bright-eyed/blissfully unaware of their coming doom/bushy-tailed Class of 2011. It’s not as bad as everyone makes it sound, and if you follow my sage advice it will be even easier. Here are 8 tips to help you make it through: Briefs. Don’t write them. Or wear them. (Wait, I might have to re-think the latter. You’ll eventually need to pass something called “Character and Fitness,” and I don’t think a Britney Spears-esque picture would reflect well on either.) A lot of your professors and friends might tell you that you need to brief every case. Not true. You’re not going to need them come exam time if you take good notes, and who cares if you look like an idiot in class? If anything, your apparent idiocy will lull your classmates into a curve-loosening false sense of self-confidence.
   
2. AEP. I don’t know what this is, since I’ve never actually gone to a meeting. I always thought it was that Jewish fraternity, AEPi, but I think it actually stands for Academic Enhancement Psssssssh. If you’re completely clueless on how to study it could help, but I think you’re better off friending an upperclassmen who already had the professor, buying him/her/me a beer and getting the lowdown (I had Leatherberry, Mehlman and Katz, FWIW).
3. The Law Library elevator is incredibly slow, but if you manually push the door closed and then press the “CLOSE DOOR” button, it actually moves at a decent speed. What, you didn’t think I could give actual useful advice without a bit of snark or sarcasm, did you?
4. Spam. Tired of getting Case Daily emails, emails about refrigerator cleanup, and those initially tempting and then always disappointing “Minority Scholarship” emails? If you’re like me and don’t have a diverse bone in your body (except for my left elbow, which is actually very diverse- part titanium), why not set up an email spam blocker? Set it up so that every time the words “minority scholarship,” “refrigerator,” or “Final Paper due” show up it immediately goes to trash. This will save time, and prevent you from getting upset at your mom for sleeping with your Anglo Dad instead of that Portuguese carpet cleaner, killing any chance of you being diverse. Or maybe it’s just me that thinks that.

If you’re like me and weren’t born in raised in Cleveland or Shaker or any other locality on the “Northern Coast,” you may have to make some adjustments.

1. As tempted as you’ll be to make “Cleveland steamer” jokes, please don’t. I’d like to think that as grad students that we’ve reached a level of maturity that we don’t need to resort to cheap bodily excrement jokes to get a laugh. Fartburpcrap.
2. There’s a local football team in town that you may have heard of? Browns or something like that? Everyone from Cleveland loves them like that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend who treated you like garbage but still has a spell on you. No matter how awful their behavior is, and how bad she is at pass coverage when Ben Roethlisberger gets time to throw, you can’t shake your love for them. I made the mistake of wearing Lions gear to a Browns game last year. In spite of it being preseason, and that the two teams play in different conferences, and that the only rivalry they have is for who can get an earlier draft pick, they still pointed and chanted “a$$h@!#” at me. If I was wearing Steelers gear and it was regular season, I imagine I would be eating through a tube right now.
3. If you’re from a state that has a sensible speed limit (ie any state but this one), you may be surprised by the glacial speeds people drive here. I’ve seen 5-lane roads with a 25 (!) mph speed limit. Not only are the speed limits low, but the police (Cleveland Heights cops especially) patrol for speeders like the Stasi for anti-socialists in East Berlin (didn’t get that reference? Rent “The Lives of Others.” You’ll thank me later.) So you have two options: drive at a normal speed and pay a lot of tickets, or make like the Romans do and live with moving at what can only affectionately be referred to as “Amish speed.” Your choice.
4. Panini’s. No matter how hard you try, you’re going to end up at that godforsaken place most weekends. Accept that fact, live with it, and don’t worry if the next morning you have to re-assess who you had thought you were. That disturbing feeling will eventually pass. Unfortunately, the “1L Fifteen” you’ll gain from all those $2.50 rum and cokes probably will not.

Revisting Predictions

Did you hear that noise yesterday? That was the sound of Hillary Clinton's campaign finally dying. I think everyone will finally realize what I knew 2 whole months and a million attack ads ago: her chances are about as good as Mike Huckabee to win more delegate than Barack. Here's what I said way back on March 9 (a long time for this crazy primary season)

He continues to win smaller states (plus Mississippi, Oregon, and North Carolina), she gets some minor victories, picks up a good amount of delegates in PA, and makes it seem like she has a legitimate shot of winning it. But by the time the primaries are over, he has a substantial lead in the overall delegates, and the Superdelegates rush over to him to finally decide the race.

How could I predict things so well? Do I have a crystal ball covered in magic tea leaves draped in tarot cards? Have I made a pact with the devil, giving him my soul in order to make my predictions correct on my crappy website?

No, although I do have the devil in my five (thanks T-Mobile, it's saved me a bundle during law school exams). The point of the matter is that this race has been fixed ever since Wisconsin. Both candidates have their constituencies that are not going to change, and the layout of the states since Super Tuesday was not such that Hillary could ever catch up. If you've donated any money to the Clinton campaign since the Wisconsin primary in February, I'm sorry. You would have spent your money better investing in pogs (I hear they're flying off the shelves) or a complete wardrobe of slap bracelets.

So, it's over. What now? Let's see if I can do as well predicting the general election. When Obama officially becomes the nominee, he'll get a bump in the polls and pull ahead of John McCain in some key states. A series of attack ads from 501c3's will bring Obama's negatives up, and he'll start to look pretty bad. But in the end, I predict he will win by a large margin, winning Ohio, Florida, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and a couple of states out West that were not expected. Stay tuned.

Play for Detroit, or in Iraq?

The NFL draft was the weekend, otherwise known as the Lions Super Bowl. But what had to be the best story was this one: an Army would have to go to Iraq if he didn't catch on with a team, and our favourite GM, Matthew Millen took a flyer on him in the 7th Round. What a great story, I really hope he makes the team, and he probably is on the easiest team to make in the NFL (if you can't crack the Lions' depth chart at Linebacker, you're not going to be make it on anyone's team).

Fearless Premarital Predictions: Mike Hart will not be cut, Shawn Crable will contribute to the Pats on special teams this year, Jake Long won't disappoint, Chad Henne will be the starter by Week 10, the Lions won't get anything out of any of their picks past the 3rd round, Adrian Arrington will be a better pro than Mario Manningham, and Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan will become journeyman QB's in 4 years. Be sure to check Me Vs. Millen to see who the Lions should have drafted.